For a long time, I didn’t want to fall in love — I was afraid to fall in love. Being in your twenties you suddenly start to feel this biological clock ticking, I’m not sure if this was only me, but I can tell you this — Women aren’t the only ones who have a biological clock.

During my earlier years as a high school student and subsequently, a college student, my idea of a long relationship was probably two weeks at the most.

Short of going to a counselor, I decided to finally ask myself a question, which I vaguely knew the answer to, but was always afraid to dig deeper. The question was simple, and that is why my relationships didn’t last too long. And I decided to be honest and really ask, and look at my past.

The culprit, and no surprise — It was my parents.

You see, my parents were divorced. After 20 plus years of marriage, they decided to call it quits. The events following was a blur, but clearly left me with a big fear of committing to a relationship.

It must’ve been during that divorce process that I had decided that if a marriage as loving as my parents could end, then what assurance is there that it won’t happen to me?

Since then, and I’ve talked to my mother about this, I’ve examined the situation that my family was in at that point in time, and whether or not, things were handled properly. I pursued this with the mere goal of not blaming, but getting to the roots of my big fear of relationships in general.

To make this long story, even longer, let’s continue just a little bit more.

During my talks with my mom, we came to a realization, that during the whole divorce process, I was never really informed. That is to say, that no one really came to me and explained the reasons for their divorce, whether or not if it was my fault, and so on…

I came to the following conclusions which I would like to share to our readers.

When going through a divorce be sure to:

• Give extra special attention to your children
• Be generous with your affection during this time
• Explain to them that it’s not their fault
• Explain that you still love them, and that you and your spouse still care for each other
• Explain relationships in general, and that not all relationships end up this way

In general, you want to keep your child/children informed, showered with love, and keep them in a secure environment.

A faulty divorce is something that is becoming a seeming epidemic these days, but what you have to realize, is that the focus should always be on the children.

Going Back to Falling In Love

Now of course, there are many reasons why men are afraid of commitment in general, this was just my experience. In any case, you have to know that finding that special someone in your life, will not hinder your life in any way. Rather, when you finally find “the one”, it will only add to the quality of your life. It will always be different for each person, the only real advice that can be given is to be honest with yourself…

Remember, this is the most special relationship that you will ever have… so cherish when you have it, and know that relationships are not an exact science, but the key to a loving relationship is respect, constant growth, and an open life of communication.

I’m happy to say that I’m finally secure in love, I’m secure in falling in love, and working on my relationship is always my number one priority…